Heart changes

We are still in a holding pattern on things with Tanzania. I think both of us find ourselves becoming discouraged at times and yet we are well aware that God is working things out in His perfect time.

We know that part of God's plans include much more preparation of our hearts and minds for what is to come. Over the past few days I have been thinking about the things God is doing in me. I remember when this all first came about...I put conditions on us moving to Tanzania. Some conditions were really stupid and others much more meaningful but either way, they were conditions. Things like, I'll go but let us keep our home in case we come back, or I'll go but it has to be with all 5 children as I won't leave any behind. Then, I'll go and I'll leave Brandon here in a group home but it has to happen before a certain date because I don't want to move the other kids over there as they get older.

God doesn't work that way and I can look back now and see what God has done in me regarding those. I am finally at a point where I can see that I have removed the conditions and just told God that I will go, whenever He wants us. If it is this summer or next fall(doubtful) or not until 2008(likely) or even after some of the children are grown and moved out(unlikely), I am willing to go.

Please continue to pray for us and the ministry as God works in our hearts and minds and prepares the way for all that needs to happen .

A great blessing that helps bring closure

One of the hardest positions we have placed our family in willingly has been the job of being a foster and adoptive family. In this capacity come a great many sadnesses but also many blessings. A little over a year ago we watched as an infant and toddler were taken from our home and returned to a questionable circumstance. They had been with us for 8 months and we had had hopes of adopting them. Since that time we heard they had been moved out of those questionable circumstances and into a new foster/adoptive home. Although we had known when they left us that they would never return to our home again it had always been the desire of my heart to see them again and know they were ok. God grants us the desires of our hearts.

In the midst of what has been a very difficult few days for our family for reasons I won't speak of here, we received a huge blessing. I am leading the Beth Moore "Daniel" bible study and the first class was held last night. After the class, a woman visiting from another church to participate in the study came up to tell me that she was these children's adoptive mom! I was ecstatic, especially when she told me the youngest child was in the nursery right now and invited us to see him. Our 10 year old daughter burst into tears. She was so helpful and involved in their care and to be reminded they would never come back hurt, but I also told her to remember that we knew they weren't returning and isn't it a great thing they have a good home and are doing well AND God gave us the opportunity to know that. She agreed. Our entire family filed into the church nursery and there he was-the younger of the two, now a barely two year old-happy, healthy and BIG. He always was a big boy, bigger than his sister that was nearly a year older than him, but he had grown so much we nearly didn't recognize him. It was his laugh that proved to us this was the same baby we had spent so much time with.

We plan to give the new parents all of the photos on disc we have of 8 months of these children's lives. this will fill in some of the time they were unable to have with them and give them baby pictures. Whether or not we see the older child at a later date is yet to be determined. We do not want to frighten her into thinking things are uncertain again so will tread carefully and follow all of the wishes of their new parents.

Thank you God for blessings in the midst of trials. You are good.

Meeting held today

Since my last post not a lot has happened. Sickness continued to reign in our home until just the past few days with colds, sinus infections and stomach viruses. We are hoping to be done for awhile although one of the kids complained of a sore throat yesterday morning.

A few days into the New Year, Shannon was able to connect by phone with Alex in Tanzania. They chatted for a few minutes. I think it made Shannon's desire to be in Tanzania even stronger than it already was. We have so far not connected with Pastor Richard by phone as we had an incorrect phone number but we did get an email from him this week saying that he was meeting with the city council member on the property today, Saturday-which is actually already over. He also sent his phone number and Shannon plans to try to connect in the next few days.

I heard a song today. It is by Steven Curtis Chapman and is a couple of years old. I know I have heard it before as we have the area Christian radio station playing in our home 24 hours per day. Have you ever had it happen that you know the music to a song but can't recall ever hearing the words? How does that happen anyway? The song is called What Now. Following are the two verses and the chorus.


What Now?

I saw the face of Jesus in a little orphan girl
She was standing in the corner on the other side of the world
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my heart
Didn't you say you wanted to find me?
Well, here I am, here you are

Chorus:
So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you've found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you'll remember this is right where I said I would be
You've found me
What now?

And I saw the face of Jesus down on Sixteenth Avenue
He was sleeping in an old car, while his mom went looking for food
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my soul
Didn't you say you wanted to know me?
Well, here I am, and it's getting cold

Repeat chorus